Ask the Experts
Q: “I recently lost a large corporate event because the clients said they would implement my ideas with their volunteers. I know I’ve lost weddings because I’ve revealed too much (or not enough) during an initial consultation. How do I convey that my experience and expertise will take care of their concerns without telling them either exactly, or in general, how I will accomplish their tasks when they ask ‘How will you do that?’ in response to my ‘We’ve taken care of similar issues in the past’ or ‘I’ve already got a great plan to take care of that.’ I don’t want to be rude in saying, ‘That’s what you’ll be paying me for’ or ‘It will be all spelled out once the contracts are signed.’ I don’t think ‘trust me’ works either.”- Kathi R. Evans, AWP™, All the Best Weddings & Celebrations,Toms River, N.J.“It is a slippery slope. There are two ways to handle this. First, make it clear up front that you get it. You understand their vision. Give them just enough to get the job, but not enough to give away the kitchen sink. Second, you could have your attorney come up with a rider that you have clients sign at the beginning of the consultation that makes anything you give them proprietary. The document should also have language that prevents them from sharing your proposal or bid from any third party, including but not limited to other vendors. Then, if you find that they utilize your ideas, you have legal room to maneuver. Check your state laws regarding intellectual property in this area before you do it, and make sure you comply with the law.”- Donnie“I can completely identify with where you are and what you’re experiencing. First, let me say that I’m sorry you’re in this. I know (firsthand) it’s incredibly frustrating! It took me some time to get out of this loop, and here’s my advice to you, based on my own experience:1. Ensure that your credentials are up-to-date and very visible to your clients—everything from your portfolio to past clients’ testimonials to press mentions and publications all speak to your credibility and create a proven track record.2. Revise (or create) your workflow process to delineate the steps. For example, after the proposal is accepted and deposit received, the client will receive full working strategy/process, etc.3. Say it. Practice in the mirror if you need to, but say things like: ‘This is what my clients hire me to do.’ ‘We had a similar situation with another client; I’m sure you can understand that this is proprietary information. Once we’re officially working together, we can get into the details of how—and in the meantime, please know I’ve already done this and have a plan at the ready for you,’ etc. This is also where you can reference that workflow we discussed in point 2: ‘The way we work is....’3. Be quiet. (This was the hard one for me!) After you’ve reassured them that you know how to solve the problem, stop talking. Most people are uncomfortable with silence and will continue the conversation to avoid it—which usually means we’ve gone into ‘problem-solving mode’ unknowingly and started revealing our strategies before we’ve been paid to do so. Get comfortable with silence.4. Release them. Recognize that we’re not meant to serve everyone and let them go—all the better if you can do so with a blessing to clear the air. Thank them (either silently in your own thoughts or spoken aloud—to yourself) for the experience, for allowing you to learn how to handle this situation in the future. Wish them well, and send them off from your mental shelf space.”- Tonia“This happens a lot. I simply say, ‘Once I am hired, I am happy to answer that.’ Look right in their eyes and smile. It’s a way to say, ‘That is information for which I charge,’ without being rude.”- FrankQ: “What advice would you give young wedding planners, regarding using vendors without proper insurance credentials?” - Ann Taylor, A Chair Affair, Inc., Orlando“You don’t. Ever. If they are a legitimate business, they need to carry a business insurance package. If they don’t, you can’t really have faith that they will be in business when the event happens. Insurance is not expensive. So if they say they can’t afford it, there is something wrong. Don’t waiver on this. This is a deal breaker.”- Donnie“This reflects on the professional level and credibility of the vendor. I’d say you need to find another vendor. This could open up a Pandora’s box.”- Frank“I always caution new planners to use vendors who are properly licensed and have proof of insurance. Many of the venues are now requiring all vendors to have insurance. Building relationships with qualified wedding professionals is a must.”- ShelbyQ: “What traits do you respect in up-and-coming planners? or What would you like to see new planners focus on with their businesses?” - Sonia Hernandez, Clarity and Class, Upper Marlboro, Md.“I respect planners who put their clients first. They don’t accept gifts, commissions, or kickbacks. They always make sure the client gets the best deal in every way. If there is a discount to be had, it should go to the client. The planner is getting paid for his or her services. They need to keep it clean and transparent.”- Donnie“Kindness, respect, humility, willingness to learn, willingness to work, a desire to leave the world a better place; seeking to give in relationships as much if not more than to get from them, vulnerability, honesty, perseverance, adaptability—the same traits I value in anyone really.”-Tonia“I like to see new planners and consultants get proper training and education. This shows a commitment to our industry. Know your craft before hanging out your shingle. It’s a sure fail if you don’t. Just because you are on Pinterest, read wedding blogs, or did your own, your daughter’s, or friend’s wedding does not make you a wedding consultant.”- Frank“I respect the passion that new planners have about the design aspect of the business. I love their ‘outside-of-the-box’ thinking about how to create the ‘WOW’ for their client’s wedding. However, I have met many new planners—through teaching and coaching—who do not focus on the financial aspect of their businesses.”- ShelbyQ: “Will the trend I have heard of in Europe—of burning the wedding gown after the wedding—spread out to our continent?” - Elizabeth Petersen, MWV™, Specialty Cleaners, Guadalajara, Mexico“Absolutely not!”- Donnie“Most of what you’re seeing are two separate themes; the first is a spin on the ‘Trash the Dress’ session, which we already have in the States, and the second is an artistic statement regarding the divorce culture. Personally, I’m not a fan of the waste of a beautiful gown and would rather see it given away or recycled. At the same time, as a divorced wedding planner myself, I can understand the personal healing that someone may derive from such an experience. My daughter loves that I saved my dress from my marriage to her dad, and every now and then, will ask to try it on. Much like so many other details in a wedding, it’s a very personal choice.”- Tonia“It’s no different than ‘Trash the Dress.’ I think this is awful. If you don’t want to keep your gown, there are better alternatives. Why not donate your dress to a resale shop that benefits a hospital or community group? You can also donate your dress directly to organizations that will get your dress to someone living with or a survivor of cancer, as well as those who have served in the military who could really use it. Also, why not just try selling it if you don’t want it. There are many used-once or never-used wedding gown resale shops across the country. Wouldn’t the feeling that your dress is being used again to make another bride’s wedding awesome be better than burning it?”- Frank“I cannot speak for all brides, but my clients have never participated in trashing the dress. It is usually a major investment, and they would rather keep it as an heirloom for family or sell it or give it to a charity.”- ShelbyQ: “What is your best advice for marketing and getting your company name recognized and receiving more than enough clients for your business?” - Toni Taylor, CWP™, EverMoreEvents II, Bowie, Md.“It is a four-pronged approach. One—social media. Don’t just use your personal pages, create business pages, and invite everyone you know to like them. Then, pay for advertising of posts. Create a company hashtag. Put it on everything. Two—magazine advertising. Make sure you negotiate editorial exposure with your ad buy. Three—online marketing. The Knot, WeddingWire, Grace Ormonde, etc. Four—meet and greet with every referral source in the industry in your area. Do this through networking associations and personal meetings. And take a little [something] with you. Nothing says, ‘Hello, please refer me,’ quite like a cupcake or personalized notepad. Screw the notepad. Take pastry!!!”- Donnie“This is hard to answer in black-and-white. What works for some won’t work for others. For example, I know consultants who book the majority of their business from bridal shows. That doesn’t work for others. For some, it’s print advertising, and then it depends on where that print advertising is used. For some, it’s all about social media. For others, it’s blogging. I have found, in my 23-years plus of being a wedding consultant, the strategy varies from region-to-region across the country. My advice is to do what I did. Try everything and measure your return on investment. This way, you know what works and what does not. More importantly, [you know] how to allocate your marketing dollars.”- Frank
