Leadership Series: Follow the Leader

Lessons from Peonies and RosesDo you see yourself as a leader? Discover one planner’s leadership journey in this first in a three-part series.At a recent conference, when I was presenting the keynote speech, I asked the audience if they considered themselves leaders. No hands went up. They looked at each other as if to say, “Not me, no way.” Yet, the audience consisted of entrepreneurs who were running their own businesses, people leading multi-level teams, and those managing divisions of corporations.Next, I asked them to define why they didn’t see themselves as leaders. The responses included: “I don’t have the title,” or “I don’t have the authority or responsibility.” Still others didn’t see themselves as leaders at all. How did they view themselves? Many saw themselves as managers, handling tasks that needed to be completed day in and day out.From peonies to rosesWhen I was first asked to think of an event or situation for reflection, and consider if and how I had demonstrated leadership, my mind skipped to a wedding that I had been asked to plan. The bride’s dream was to have peonies and roses at her wedding. “Peonies and roses?” I thought. It was both the wrong time of year and the wrong climate. The request simply wasn’t realistic. However, the bride had a long-held vision, and nothing else would do.After some searching, I found a vendor who assured me he would order the flowers from Holland, which he did. What he didn’t know, however, was that these flowers would be held at the border until documentation was produced and the duty paid. The vendor was in a panic. Who could he talk to about this? What needed to be communicated? Every hour was precious in rescuing these fragile flowers that were to grace a bride’s dream.Rather than leave the frazzled vendor to sort out this problem himself, we worked together as a team. I did some research and helped him make phone calls, complete the documentation, and determine the amount of duty that needed to be paid. Success! The bride had her peonies and roses, and her wedding was the perfect dream that she had always envisioned.Understanding leadership vs.managementWhat was my role in this story? Was it leadership or management? I needed to understand the difference. Leadership is about behavior and an observable set of skills and abilities. Research has shown that leadership has five common core practices. A leader will model the way, inspire a shared vision, challenge the process, enable others to act and last, but certainly not least, “encourage the heart.” In short, leadership isn’t about personality; it’s about behavior. By contrast, management is the process for dealing with or controlling things or people. If management is defined as getting things done through others, then leadership should be defined as the influence that inspires and leads to action taken by others. It means mobilizing others to move toward a common goal. Great leaders help build an organization’s human capital then motivate individuals to take concerted action. There is an understanding of when, where, and how to use more formal sources of authority and power such as position or ownership. Learning through experienceMy experience with the peonies and roses challenged me to think about my own leadership capabilities. Was taking responsibility for fulfilling a commitment a model of leadership? Was working cooperatively toward a solution rather than assigning blame and abandoning the goal another instance? I think it was. My help in communicating with the producer and the customs people enabled the vendor to solve the problem. He didn’t abandon the flowers, despite his financial loss, nor did he change the order. Instead, he realized that both of us shared a commitment, and I was supporting him. He wasn’t alone.For both the vendor and myself, it was a learning experience. He learned more about the intricacies of importing flowers from overseas. I learned the necessity of consistently checking details, rather than presuming that those in charge of delegated jobs know what needs to be done. Because I communicated that we both shared responsibility, and I showed my appreciation for his dedication to solving the problem, we maintained a very positive working relationship. What’s your story?We all have a “peonies and roses story.” These are personal stories that help us discern our own skills and abilities and that help us become effective leaders. The challenge is to see ourselves in a light that shines upon our strengths so that we can build on them and encourage our own hearts and those of others. What’s your “peonies and roses story”? Share it with me at milena@milenasantoro.com or tweet me @SantoroMilena. __Milena Santoro, CWP™, CMM, CMP, PIDP, MS Productions, Inc., Canda and Europe