Understated Elegance & Fine Food Are French Wedding Highlights

By Nancy LaTart, Fête in France, Paris photo by KHulett PhotographyFrance’s beautiful regions offer unparalleled scenic beauty that is perfect for weddings. And, whether the weddings held here are locals tying the knot or international couples seeking a destination event, there are distinct differences to be noted in everything, from formalities to traditions.Don’t neglect the paperworkThe administrative process of getting married in France differs from that of the United States, with the civil ceremony being completely separate from the religious ceremony. Unlike in the United States, where couples can be legally married by a justice of the peace, a member of the clergy, or even a friend who has been ordained online, in France only a local official from the city hall can celebrate marriages. This means that if a couple chooses to be married in their place of worship, they are obligated to have two ceremonies. A drink to celebrateThe two ceremonies may occur on the same day, but it is common to have the civil ceremony on a day prior to the religious ceremony and wedding reception. For weddings where both the bride and groom are from the local area, it is common to hold a vin d’honneur, or celebratory drink, after the religious ceremony. The guest list for this part of the day is usually larger than for the wedding reception and, at certain weddings, the whole town is invited. There is often a break after the vin d’honneur and the rest of the reception is held at a different venue.Two to three hours of food and wineThe reception meal can often last throughout three hours and include speeches and entertainment. The food and wine tend to be the main focus. The reception begins with a cocktail hour, which usually lasts anywhere from one to two hours, often with a variety of canapés and small bites accompanied by champagne and soft drinks and, less frequently, a full open bar. The meal is served in at least three courses—a starter, a main, and a dessert—but can be much longer if the couple chooses to include other courses, such as an amuse-bouche at the beginning of the meal, a fish course as well as a meat course, or a cheese course before dessert. The caterer can supply wine and champagne, but often clients bring their own favorite vintages. For dessert, the traditional French wedding cake is called a croquembouche, which is a tower of cream puffs held together with caramelized sugar. Some view the croquembouche as old-fashioned, so couples often forego this type of dessert and instead have a dessert buffet of French cakes and mini-desserts or a plated dessert. American-style wedding cakes have gained popularity during the past five years but are still relatively uncommon in French weddings.Speeches and entertainmentFrench tradition includes having the parents of the bride and groom give speeches, but there isn’t a maid-of-honor or best-man speech since it’s uncommon for there to be a wedding party of several bridesmaids and groomsmen. Instead, there are usually temoins (witnesses) who have official roles in the civil ceremony and religious ceremony. More commonly, friends of the bride and groom—separately or together—plan a surprise for the couple, usually a slideshow of photos, a funny skit or video, or a game. It can often be past midnight by the time the meal is over and dancing begins—fortunately French venue rentals go until at least 2 a.m. and often do not have an official end time. Understated eleganceSince food and drink are the priority, florals and atmosphere get less attention and budget. The French tend to be more understated in their décor sense and are not accustomed to showing wealth in an obvious way. It’s very common to see reception setups with white plastic garden chairs or folding conference chairs and minimal (if any) centerpieces. Given that the event design is not priority, it’s easy to understand what drives the relative lack of high-end event rentals in France. There is essentially one, large nationwide rental agency that has a variety of styles of chairs, linens, and tableware. Other smaller rental companies exist; however, instead of offering an upmarket selection of goods, they offer a basic catalog and compete on price. This lack of choice can be a challenge to present to clients who are used to having a plethora of options. However, France does have the advantage of having beautiful flea markets and quirky, hidden addresses where unique design elements can be sourced. There are also people who can provide custom-made elements to enhance readily available rentals.The rustic/vintage look has become very popular with French couples since it’s a way of adding style while staying away from anything ostentatious. Florals are still sparse but put in a variety of interesting bud vases and containers. Flea market finds are put to good use in a display table for the photo booth or guest book. Venues—refined to rusticRefined settings abound, whether in gilt detailing, crown moldings, and chandeliers or a relaxed rustic countryside chic locale. For the peak of French elegance, Paris offers a variety of beautiful, private mansions and luxury hotels in historic buildings. Luxurious countryside venues are found in nearly any French region; however, the preferred areas tend to be Provence for its villas, Normandy for its manor houses, and the Loire Valley for its châteaux. Finding the best venues and resources, however, requires some digging. Many of the best local vendors fly under the radar and prefer to spend their efforts on exceling in their domain, relying on word-of-mouth and referrals from past vendor partners. Advantages and disadvantagesSince the French wedding industry is much less of an “industry” than in other countries, there are advantages and disadvantages to weddings held there. Saying the word “wedding” doesn’t automatically inflate pricing. Often, the same budget can give access to a higher level of quality in France than in some other countries. On the other hand, the reserved nature of the French means that there’s not a market for the kind of at-the-ready creative services that contribute to unique and exceptional events than in other countries. Additionally, customer service is notably different in France, and it is extremely common to hear, “No,” from a French vendor, at least at first.That being said, French venue owners and vendors are usually delighted and honored to work with clients from afar. It’s important to know how to overcome the “Nos,” reframe the challenge, and find the creative solutions to get to a “Yes” for clients. ••