Marriage Equality: What It Means for You and Your Business

By Beth Erickson, Editor, Wedding Planner Magazine, La Crosse, Wis. photo by authentic eye photographyUnless you’ve been living off the grid, you know that on June 26 the U.S. Supreme Court made a landmark ruling that was a victory for gay rights advocates. With a 5-4 decision, the court ruled that states can no longer ban same-sex marriage. But just what does this sweeping change mean for wedding professionals in the United States? Wedding Planner Magazine caught up with Kathryn Hamm, publisher of GayWeddings.com, WeddingWire education expert, and co-author of The New Art of Capturing Love for her insight on this epic decision.WPM: What does marriage equality mean for the wedding industry?KH: For several years now, wedding pros have been preparing themselves for this moment, and many have had the chance to refine their services. In fact, a 2015 WeddingWire survey of wedding professionals found that 86 percent were already serving or planning to serve same-sex couples. There will, however, be more legal clarity since there will no longer be the same “legal elopement” needs for couples who lived in states where marriage wasn’t recognized. Now, same-sex couples can have the weddings they desire in their home states if they wish. The Supreme Court ruling also means that wedding professionals who haven’t educated themselves or updated their marketing materials to be inclusive will now need to do so. Same-sex couples need wedding services in all 50 states to support their legally recognized unions.WPM: Will there be an increase in business?KH: Though there are many reports that talk about economic gains in the wedding industry, and there will be, it’s important to consider the elements of that expansion. These include:• The backlog that might have existed in the 13 states that had not yet legalized marriage equality prior to the Supreme Court ruling.• The percentage of those dollars that will go to local economies in taxes and other fees.• The percentage of those dollars that go to revenue for wedding-related services versus what an individual wedding professional might expect to gain. In my opinion, what isn’t accounted for is the gap between the expectation around the revenue for wedding-related services and the individual reality. This sets up a false expectation for wedding pros. Now, when you add an entire market segment and welcome it with open arms in 50 states, does that mean there will be market growth? Potentially a small pop at first, followed by a small but expanded growth that will hold relatively steady. It’s actually been this way for some time now. While it’s true that same-sex couples have larger guest lists and are hosting weddings closer in line with the average heterosexual couple, LGBTQ weddings are not necessarily going to single-handedly make or break any thoughtful, established business practice. Ultimately, if a wedding pro is prepared to be inclusive in his or her business practices and is marketing well to same-sex couples, conservatively speaking, it’s reasonable to expect a contract expansion of one to three couples per year. This depends on the professional, the market, the competition, reviews and referrals, the service category and so on. WPM: Do business owners have the right to refuse service based on personal religious beliefs?KH: Business owners certainly have a right to their beliefs, but they do not have the right to discriminate against others in public commerce. Since the Supreme Court decision, we’ve seen this play out in a number of headlines, including a couple who fired a photographer because of his support for marriage equality and a baker in Colorado who refused to make a cake for a gay wedding, among other examples. It’s safe to say that, even though this question pertains to a small minority of wedding professionals, it will dominate headlines and advocacy efforts in the months ahead. Legal considerations aside, the larger community of wedding professionals and engaged couples—both LGBTQ and non-LGBTQ—support marriage equality and are actively choosing wedding professionals who share that belief. The open market is asking for equal treatment in the public sector regardless of personal religious belief. In the end, it’ll be up to each professional to find a resolution that works for them personally. My hope is that they’ll find a way to embrace the universality of love and support all couples with respect and dignity or to opt out if this isn’t possible.WPM: What can business owners do to prepare themselves for marriage equality? In other words, how they feel safe learning, especially when being better business owners means that they might be choosing to work against their values?KH: We’ve all had our chance to “come out” or “come around” on this issue in the past months, years, and/or decades, and I understand that there are some professionals who need more time to meet same-sex couples and our allies, talk with us, and understand what marriage equality means to us. There is also space for us to listen to the dilemmas they are experiencing between their civic duty and religious beliefs. All business owners who have not yet attended a seminar on the topic or researched the wedding stories of same-sex couples should spend time learning more. At the very least, consider how to handle an incoming request for services by a same-sex couple so that no one will be taken by surprise and have regrets or a larger problem on their hands due to lack of preparation. When love is the central issue, we have far more in common than we don’t. This common ground is an important place for us to seek understanding and compassion for one another. When you listen with love, lead with love, and serve with love, you can’t go wrong.WPM: What skills are necessary to be competitive in the gay-friendly versus gay-wedding-competent market?KH: Same-sex couples now have more choices than ever. Professionals who think being “gay-friendly” is enough will be surprised to find that they are losing business to competitors who use inclusive language, represent all couples, feature reviews of same-sex couples, and update their contracts and vendor referral lists. Same-sex couples are savvy and now have the option to look not only for wedding pros who are ready, willing, and able to serve them but also for experienced professionals who are prepared to meet their needs from the opening point of contact, whether personal or virtual.WPM: What are some resources/seminars/conferences at which wedding pros can gain the skills needed to properly serve the gay wedding market?KH: In 2015-2016, most of the national conferences will include topics related to same-sex weddings. I’ll be speaking at the Wedding MBA and WeddingWire World 2016. Bernadette Smith, of 14 Stories in New York City, also hosts a series of webinars and participates in a number of national conferences. Pros who are part of the WeddingWire network can also sit in on my WeddingWireEDU webinars or download archived presentations from the WeddingWireEDU library. For photographers and other pros, I recommend the book I co-authored with Thea Dodds, The New Art of Capturing Love. It’s got practical advice for photographers, but has also been embraced as a helpful guide for wedding planners. You can also check out Bernadette Smith’s book The Business of Gay Weddings. ••