Bridging Culture and Faith in a Diverse World
By Melisa Imberman, The Event of a
Lifetime, Inc., Millwood, N.Y.with Beth Erickson, Wedding Planner Magazine editor, La Crosse, Wis.Although there are some pockets and remote corners of the world with little cultural diversity, by and large, the world is increasingly multicultural. Perhaps one of the most diverse is Chad in South Africa, home to more than 100 ethnic groups, 37 tribal groups, and 39 languages, according to a recent study by the Pew Research Center. 
For the wedding industry, this increasing diversity translates into the likelihood of assisting clients with cross-cultural and interfaith weddings, especially in more populated and metropolitan areas. And that means planners and vendors today require the right skills to assist seamlessly.Talk tradition with your clientsCross-cultural and interfaith couples are like any other couple. When they first approach planners and vendors, some have a pretty clear vision about their wedding while others have no idea. Generally, however, they know what they do not want. Be sure to outline these specifics.Next, talk about their cultural and faith traditions. Which ones are they aware of? Which do they want to include? Sometimes, family dynamics come into play, and the couple feels pressure to incorporate what their families want. Help the clients find traditions they can relate to and feel comfortable including. Often, there is a lot of compromise involved in planning a cultural wedding, especially when the two generations don’t see eye-to-eye.Research, research, researchSince some couples may not know the rights and traditions of their own culture, it’s critical to the success of the wedding that you learn what you can by researching the different traditions. That means you have to ask a bride if she wants to reconsider carrying a white stephanotis bouquet like the one she tore out of a magazine, if, traditionally, Chinese brides carry red flowers, representing life and happiness. Although white flowers are customary in a Western wedding, white actually symbolizes death in the Chinese culture.Look for similaritiesAs you research, find out what each culture has in common. This will come in handy as you plan the wedding. Here are some notable cultural similarities:• Chinese/ Hindu: The color red means an auspicious day.• Jewish/Greek/Hindu: The bride and groom circle during the ceremony.• Chinese/Jewish: The numbers eight and 18 are lucky.• Filipino/Jewish: The groom is escorted down the aisle by both parents.• Filipino/Greek: There is a money dance.• Filipino/Hindu/Greek: A knotted cord symbolizes the wedding bond; a scarf blessing; and the placing of crowns are traditions.• Jewish/Hindu: The chuppah is a canopy over the couple during the ceremony, while the mandap is a covered structure under which the ceremony occurs.
Make room for bothA couple of years ago, The Event of a Lifetime, Inc., planned a Filipino/Italian wedding. The bride and groom were both Catholic, so that part was easy. The next step was figuring out how to honor each culture.For the Italian side, food is at the center of tradition—almost as important as the ceremony, so the focus was on providing incredible, Italian fare for the event. One of the oldest Italian traditions, meant to represent the bittersweet nature of marriage, is the giving of candy-coated Jordan almonds. These almonds were put in pouches made out of the same fabric as the bride’s dress and in quantities of five or seven, which are lucky numbers.The Filipino customs were more detailed and added significant flair. The bride wore a custom gown hand-woven from pineapple leaf or banana fibers with embroidered and crystal details. She also carried an heirloom rosary with her bouquet. The groom sported an embroidered tunic of the same fabric. The large wedding party included two sets of principal sponsors, the couple’s godparents, who play an important role in their lives and stood up as witnesses during the ceremony; candle sponsors who light the candle beside the bride and groom; veil sponsors who drape a long white veil on the groom’s shoulder and over the bride’s head to symbolize God’s protection; and cord sponsors who take a cord in the form of a figure eight and loop it around the bride and groom to symbolize the infinite bond of marriage.During the ceremony, the groom presented his bride with a ring and 13 coins to pledge his dedication to the welfare of his wife and future children. Doves were released to symbolize a peaceful relationship. At the reception, a money dance was held. This dance is an ancient custom that originally served as a measure of a family’s status within a community. Today, it is practiced as a way of giving the happy couple a prosperous start.Help make their dream come trueIt’s delightful to witness couples of so many diverse cultures and faiths coming together as one. As a planner or vendor in today’s world, it’s almost impossible not to be involved in weddings with these aspects. To successfully plan cross-cultural and interfaith events, we must listen, learn, and collaborate.
